Category: 
This Lionel Beehner guy never even visited the town by the quality of information he provides.
Here are the key moronic details Beehner fucks up:
1) “The highway that goes into town passes through peanut farms and horse ranches, although a few strip malls have also sprung up.”
TRUTH: This quote gives a rustic image of one main highway going through town. The highway he’s mentioning is HWY 380 (also known as University Drive). Problem is Denton is the nexus of I-35E (Dallas) and I-35W (Fort Worth), and a smattering of other highways. Rather than horse and buggies, traffic sucks large donkey snots.
2) “Drive by Rubber Gloves, a former cement factory on the outskirts of town”
TRUTH: Rubber Gloves used to also be a dive that became famous for “bring your own beer and pot” and is about 100 feet east of the Denton City Hall/Police Station. Far from being outside of town. Shitty neighborhood, to be sure, though.
3) “STILL, unlike Austin, downtown Denton has no liquor stores or a Starbucks”
TRUTH: Yeah, it’s about 5-10 miles to the nearest liquor store. But did this fucking guy even visit Denton? There are multiple Starbucks that have been in town for many, many years. The way he writes, you’d think the second Wal-Mart being built shows how small the damn town is. Oh, and the traffic sucks.
4) “First-time visitors may have to fill out some paperwork to drink, depending on the bar’s liquor license.”
May? Get your fucking license out and it WILL be scanned. Only alcohol allowed to be sold in Denton is wine and beer. Any actual liquor? Private club registration required.
Seriously, who goes to a wine and beer bar these days? Bridge and tunnel trash or Eurotrash. None of which are allowed in Denton.
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